Well I didn't get a very good nights sleep last night, packing for my outward bound trip back to the SS Dodgey Sausage, the thunderstorm was possibly a factor (might have been as a result of my slagging off the film Thor), and I was re-awakened by the sound of my alarm(s) at a breezy 04:00.
OK, I thought I would catch some of the elusive slumber back in the taxi to the airport (not to be) the rain was (well raining I suppose) causing the driver to make erratic moves and preventing my snooze, "Never mind" was my next thought, I will take up my place in 64K (window seat near the back which I had been invited to change when I went online, only to find that the choice for change was ...... 64K, all seat icons other than mine had little "x"s on them). Adopting my usual slump and eyes half shut (ready for take off) neck canted over to use the support of the side of the aircraft and giving off a general air of "Do NOT Disturb" I fell blissfully into unconsciousness for about 3 seconds, whereupon a small creature seated behind me kicked the back of my chair, and then kept repeating the action for the duration of the flight, despite the chastisement of his guardians/parents/keepers that were sat with him.
Oh dear reader (whom I have neglected for too long) "where am I headed?" you may ask.
I am aiming toward a multi media campaign to stop those bastards in airports from feeding these spawn of Satan anything that could possibly cause behavioural problems (Sunny Delight, Coca Cola, Fanta, lime green fizzy drinks, horrible sweets made from isotopes that we haven't really thought about) I am referring to the likes of Bugger King , MacBovineSpongiformEncephalopathy and similar heartless conglomerates that are not only poisoning our youth but making wads of dosh (from their victims) at the same time.
Pull back there one moment, (I hear from the crowd of reader) is it not the fault of the guardians/parents/keepers? OK I might give you that one, the choice to let your charges indulge in fast food orgies should be deemed to be that of the warder not the warded (especially when the wee mites are indeed "wee")? Maybe, but when half the world isn't aware that certain additives can cause mood swings and attention problems (possibly that such research has been masked by large conglomerate money and spin) then how are our less literate and more gullible (and I won't be too far from the mark if I mention "inappropriate Lycra wearing") supposed to find out that their offspring could benefit from just eating natural foodstuffs (and I could possibly not feel as crabby as I do right now).
Another solution would be for airlines to fine the owners of appallingly behaved children (Or give me extra airmiles for suffering the gits).
I'll be much better in the morning.
OK, I thought I would catch some of the elusive slumber back in the taxi to the airport (not to be) the rain was (well raining I suppose) causing the driver to make erratic moves and preventing my snooze, "Never mind" was my next thought, I will take up my place in 64K (window seat near the back which I had been invited to change when I went online, only to find that the choice for change was ...... 64K, all seat icons other than mine had little "x"s on them). Adopting my usual slump and eyes half shut (ready for take off) neck canted over to use the support of the side of the aircraft and giving off a general air of "Do NOT Disturb" I fell blissfully into unconsciousness for about 3 seconds, whereupon a small creature seated behind me kicked the back of my chair, and then kept repeating the action for the duration of the flight, despite the chastisement of his guardians/parents/keepers that were sat with him.
Oh dear reader (whom I have neglected for too long) "where am I headed?" you may ask.
I am aiming toward a multi media campaign to stop those bastards in airports from feeding these spawn of Satan anything that could possibly cause behavioural problems (Sunny Delight, Coca Cola, Fanta, lime green fizzy drinks, horrible sweets made from isotopes that we haven't really thought about) I am referring to the likes of Bugger King , MacBovineSpongiformEncephalopathy and similar heartless conglomerates that are not only poisoning our youth but making wads of dosh (from their victims) at the same time.
Pull back there one moment, (I hear from the crowd of reader) is it not the fault of the guardians/parents/keepers? OK I might give you that one, the choice to let your charges indulge in fast food orgies should be deemed to be that of the warder not the warded (especially when the wee mites are indeed "wee")? Maybe, but when half the world isn't aware that certain additives can cause mood swings and attention problems (possibly that such research has been masked by large conglomerate money and spin) then how are our less literate and more gullible (and I won't be too far from the mark if I mention "inappropriate Lycra wearing") supposed to find out that their offspring could benefit from just eating natural foodstuffs (and I could possibly not feel as crabby as I do right now).
Another solution would be for airlines to fine the owners of appallingly behaved children (Or give me extra airmiles for suffering the gits).
I'll be much better in the morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment