The open door

OK I'm almost excited, (ooh what at? The sarcastic monotone narrator's voice mumbles) I now have an Echo Dot.
So, apart from the initial setup, everything works reasonably well and the limitations that are imposed on the interactions are mainly focused on why it would be a good idea to subscribe to amazon prime, and the inevitable quality (or lack thereof) of my internet connection.
So saying, the purpose of this sojourn into manually entering anything on the keyboard is that Alexa (AKA Skynet) is listening, somewhere there is a log of my voice antics (multiple expletives when I trip over the cat) and a profile that includes my musical tastes, shopping habits and probably my dietary habits too (Alexa knows that you are eating biscuits), there could even be a log of how many times I break wind ("Do you want me to put charcoal tablets on your shopping list?").
Amazon, Google and Apple all initially denied this, but they have admitted to collating data, and that I don't mind, if them collating data makes my existence a little more palatable then so be it, and the data that my mobile phone gives out is more interesting in any case, domestic data is pretty uninspiring, but it is useful in the realms of market research and focused advertising (although you might find it a little intrusive).
The point is, I'm aware of this happening, many are not, they don't think that buying a device and using it, plugs you in to all of the back story, (this is demonstrated by the facebook collections of people posting inappropriate comments that come back to bite them).
So what do you want to do? Be a rebel go off grid and give up your Facebook account? (Please remember that this would also mean that you would have to give up your mobile phone (you can be located to within 20m from your mobile signal) your bank cards (using them can locate your whereabouts and timestamp the usage) avoid all public places with CCTV (facial recognition is getting more accurate) and of course give up working for a living or claiming anything from the government (These will give a "Modus Operandi" to anyone that is interested).
So, no, you're knackered, if you want to disappear, there's probably no reason to, and realistically no means to do so.
Does that make me feel aggrieved? Not really, I'm not on the run from anyone (and don't intend to be) so it doesn't really affect me.
Does it change my perspective? Only that I get a bit miffed that I do a search for something and lo and behold there's an advert on facebook that some of my friends seem to be looking for a similar related item (Hang on, I wasn't on facebook when I was looking, I was googling, now that is disconcerting).
So do I stay in the here and now, accepting that, for the remainder of my life, my shopping will be scrutinised in a way that could be made available for other reasons?
How could the information be used to harm me?
Or are we just glibly cruising toward a future that means that everyone's epitaph will include their favourite biscuits and preferred cat food?

Fake Muse

Having some friends that hail from the tiny island on the left of the Atlantic, I've been paying attention to the situation there, apparently their newly appointed bastion of virtue has been engaging in an ongoing tussle with the fourth estate.
Now here's the rub, most people tend to read the version of the news that most aligns with their sensibilities, and judging by some of my chums on faceplant, they seem to be subscribing to Mein Kampf (or the daily version of it) here we are in the second decade of the third millennium and we are taking to regurgitating hate, bile and untruths purely because it appeals to our paradigm of the modern world. (I can confess to being tempted by some of it myself, and I have had to check myself then check the veracity, then take myself into a corner and have a stern word with myself for believing some of it).

Not to belittle the tragedy, the shooting in Florida was upsetting, even from this detached standpoint, the fact that it was more than preventable makes it worse.
Familiar text follows:
"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
This is the (oh so) well quoted 2nd amendment that so many quote (whilst also advocating the trashing of the 1st amendment in many cases) to defend the ownership of firearms, OK well do something that combines the 2nd amendment and some form of gun control, why don't they refuse gun ownership to anyone not being an active member in a militia? That is what the amendment states, follow it! That should exclude people who aren't "Well regulated" (i.e. not willing to participate, unfit to wield anything sharper than a Big Mac or too enthusiastic about pointy bang sticks).
Obviously, anyone with a criminal background should be (and already supposedly is), a minimum age of 21 (as in the alcohol limitation) anyone who wishes to wave a Confederate flag could be classed as treasonous, (thus automatically excluded) anyone who believes that the U.S. won the Vietnam War (obviously their comprehension of history is indicative of their mental state). Along with "Ancient alien theorists", Holocaust deniers, people who deny the moon landings, Justin Bieber fans and Fundamentalists (any sect, partly because the word "mental " is  included in the title but mainly for the really obvious reason that they are so evidently weak of mind that they just shouldn't be handed a means to force their opinions on others).
I would have included Country Music fans in the exclusions, but the American gun industry deserves a break.
Excluding the morbidly obese (giving them 6 months to qualify) would also put a huge amount of people on a health kick.
Food for thought
Jim Jeffries on the subject

Fear of the bomb

Not sure how many (or either) of my dear readers will remember the wariness that we lived under whilst the IRA were active (due to my chosen career path, I was urged to be constantly vigilante) but I am pretty sure that the rest of the British Isles carried on in their daily routine without breaking out in a cold sweat as soon as they spotted a carrier bag unattended in a public place. Now we are being told that every time we pass throigh an airport we are to be subjected to a violation to our himan rights (the all encompassing excuse being security, the all pervading reason would appear to be profit for all the firms who manufacture the equipment that probes our personal effects) and all due to what exactly, oh yes, the final realisation by a nation, who derives a good percentage of its GDP from being at war, that the world doesn't love them.

Dry your eyes princess, stop trying to drag us all down to your level of populace control (Orwellian at best) and re-assess the situation.

Why? Would be a good question to ask first. What drives people to spread a gospel of hate to the point where men will feel justified to take up arms to battle such.a massive foe? (Looking in a mirror would be a good move at this point).

Oh what's the use? The people who read this probably agree already and the people who need to wouldn't change their mind anyway because they have been brainwashed already. However, (always followed by an apostrophe and an excuse) some people never learn do they? And what I am intimating, dear reader, is that profiling, crowd control, debasement of the human condition (and all who sail in that) are alive and well and those who are basically accepting of "Que sera sera" (not talking Doris Day here) are ruining it for the rest of us.
Honestly, (why do you suspect my word when I pre-empt it with that one?) I was witness to a conversation the other day (please don't request specifics) where a person actually said that he (gender indicative) was wishing that ISIS (oh please, not the first daughter of Geb) were to come to this country, he would "sort them out", OK, I am way ahead of you here, and I have a good guess at what you are thinking, but no! His reasoning behind his ability to "sort them out" was his experience (and this is the most gobsmacked that I have been for quite some time) in "Call of Duty".
Now, what do you do when someone, who obviously, believes that their prowess on a gaming pad (or on a mouse and keyboard) qualifies them to take control of a situation, that many before them have spent years training for, at vast expense and consideration, due to their ability to press reset when the going gets tough?

I have seen trained men (of whom I have a lot of respect for) break down and cry in certain situations, you don't know which of us will crumble nor do you know which of us will become the inspirational person who grabs the situation and turns it to the good or leads others to survival or salvation, I've seen it go both ways and there is no predicting who does what (and that is my only fact in that), so please don't tell me "how you'd handle" so and so or if you would pull the trigger etc. because, unless you have faced the situation and you are referring to that last episode then, I'm really sorry, you cannot tell me how you would react the next time around (anyone out there who can, hand on heart, tell me that they could is obviously a psychopath and you really don't want my name and address).


Must work on my mind ray weapon.

Sorry for any gap in postings but I've been busy, OK?

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Whoa there

Found in the archives so it should have been made available four years past (OK mid 2012)

Back on board the OC after a two year sabbatical (a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since I last sighted her prowed lines (pun intended)).

 And what changes? First to report is the successful completion of the unofficial offshore T4 course, for which the vessel was temporarily renamed (security reasons were sited), the remarkable feat of talent and perseverance was carried out under duress (but the Bridge Super went away after they gave him some marbles to play with) and the honour of tightening the last bolt was declined by non-other than Lee Van Cleef and all that without a parachute drop in sight.

On the subject of courses, the deck crew have taken it upon themselves to equip their supervisor with an arsenal of “useful” vocabulary (most of which could get him arrested), and the OC workout video is in post-production.

The LARS paint by numbers has all but been completed (with the exception of the one item painted by a colour-blind hedgehog (next month’s competition = name the part).

Welfare:

Rumours that the welfare fund is to be renamed the “Nespresso” fund are found to be untrue, even though the conversion to P.O.D. (Price Over Desirability) coffee is virtually vessel wide. And a full length posing mirror has been installed in the Gym (however, the subscription to “Bodybuilders have small Genitals “ monthly was turned down).However I have taken up the option of the weekly Gay Pride magazine and find myself strangely attracted to our own  Aerobics instructor after watching his workout video.

Morale:

Morale remains high and the occurrences of crew being made to walk the plank are being kept to an all time low (Keel hauling is down too, but that might be due to the shortage of good rope).

Comings & Goings

We have waved a tearful farewell to Tuan (then he came back) wished Damo a good camping trip, Bryce got married (congrats from all of us) and Dino has become a daddy (potential future ROV Pilot?)

Party Preparation

Well hello again, I had a wonderful new year (totally oblivious of the date other than the sporadic felicitations from my fellow rig occupiers) then the run up to dear mater's arrival and ensuing visit.

Now I am awaiting the final moments of the smoker (having enslaved my nephew on smoker watch) and we are all about to trip off down the hill to imbibe and be merry (in an official manner).

The photo? Last night's moon rise, as we were cooking the first batch of ribs (yummy). G&Ts all round and lots of burnt animal flesh. Hey ho.

Hoo hoo

OK managed to finish a year, in good spirits (no gin though).

Hope the coming year is as positive.

Still getting wound up about how the general populus is being lied to and cheated, cheated out of what is due to them. The big slap in the chops being that they are convinced that they have the "non shitty" end of the stick.

Wake up world.

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Peeled eyeballs

Well I didn't get a very good nights sleep last night, packing for my outward bound trip back to the SS Dodgey Sausage, the thunderstorm was possibly a factor (might have been as a result of my slagging off the film Thor), and I was re-awakened by the sound of my alarm(s) at a breezy 04:00.
OK, I thought I would catch some of the elusive slumber back in the taxi to the airport (not to be) the rain was (well raining I suppose) causing the driver to make erratic moves and preventing my snooze, "Never mind" was my next thought, I will take up my place in 64K (window seat near the back which I had been invited to change when I went online, only to find that the choice for change was ...... 64K, all seat icons other than mine had little "x"s on them). Adopting my usual slump and eyes half shut (ready for take off) neck canted over to use the support of the side of the aircraft and giving off a general air of "Do NOT Disturb" I fell blissfully into unconsciousness for about 3 seconds, whereupon a small creature seated behind me kicked the back of my chair, and then kept repeating the action for the duration of the flight, despite the chastisement of his guardians/parents/keepers that were sat with him.
Oh dear reader (whom I have neglected for too long) "where am I headed?" you may ask.
I am aiming toward a multi media campaign to stop those bastards in airports from feeding these spawn of Satan anything that could possibly cause behavioural problems (Sunny Delight, Coca Cola, Fanta, lime green fizzy drinks, horrible sweets made from isotopes that we haven't really thought about) I am referring to the likes of Bugger King , MacBovineSpongiformEncephalopathy and similar heartless conglomerates that are not only poisoning our youth but making wads of dosh (from their victims) at the same time.
Pull back there one moment, (I hear from the crowd of reader) is it not the fault of the guardians/parents/keepers? OK I might give you that one, the choice to let your charges indulge in fast food orgies should be deemed to be that of the warder not the warded (especially when the wee mites are indeed "wee")? Maybe, but when half the world isn't aware that certain additives can cause mood swings and attention problems (possibly that such research has been masked by large conglomerate money and spin) then how are our less literate and more gullible (and I won't be too far from the mark if I mention "inappropriate Lycra wearing") supposed to find out that their offspring could benefit from just eating natural foodstuffs (and I could possibly not feel as crabby as I do right now).
Another solution would be for airlines to fine the owners of appallingly behaved children (Or give me extra airmiles for suffering the gits).
I'll be much better in the morning.