Fear of the bomb

Not sure how many (or either) of my dear readers will remember the wariness that we lived under whilst the IRA were active (due to my chosen career path, I was urged to be constantly vigilante) but I am pretty sure that the rest of the British Isles carried on in their daily routine without breaking out in a cold sweat as soon as they spotted a carrier bag unattended in a public place. Now we are being told that every time we pass throigh an airport we are to be subjected to a violation to our himan rights (the all encompassing excuse being security, the all pervading reason would appear to be profit for all the firms who manufacture the equipment that probes our personal effects) and all due to what exactly, oh yes, the final realisation by a nation, who derives a good percentage of its GDP from being at war, that the world doesn't love them.

Dry your eyes princess, stop trying to drag us all down to your level of populace control (Orwellian at best) and re-assess the situation.

Why? Would be a good question to ask first. What drives people to spread a gospel of hate to the point where men will feel justified to take up arms to battle such.a massive foe? (Looking in a mirror would be a good move at this point).

Oh what's the use? The people who read this probably agree already and the people who need to wouldn't change their mind anyway because they have been brainwashed already. However, (always followed by an apostrophe and an excuse) some people never learn do they? And what I am intimating, dear reader, is that profiling, crowd control, debasement of the human condition (and all who sail in that) are alive and well and those who are basically accepting of "Que sera sera" (not talking Doris Day here) are ruining it for the rest of us.
Honestly, (why do you suspect my word when I pre-empt it with that one?) I was witness to a conversation the other day (please don't request specifics) where a person actually said that he (gender indicative) was wishing that ISIS (oh please, not the first daughter of Geb) were to come to this country, he would "sort them out", OK, I am way ahead of you here, and I have a good guess at what you are thinking, but no! His reasoning behind his ability to "sort them out" was his experience (and this is the most gobsmacked that I have been for quite some time) in "Call of Duty".
Now, what do you do when someone, who obviously, believes that their prowess on a gaming pad (or on a mouse and keyboard) qualifies them to take control of a situation, that many before them have spent years training for, at vast expense and consideration, due to their ability to press reset when the going gets tough?

I have seen trained men (of whom I have a lot of respect for) break down and cry in certain situations, you don't know which of us will crumble nor do you know which of us will become the inspirational person who grabs the situation and turns it to the good or leads others to survival or salvation, I've seen it go both ways and there is no predicting who does what (and that is my only fact in that), so please don't tell me "how you'd handle" so and so or if you would pull the trigger etc. because, unless you have faced the situation and you are referring to that last episode then, I'm really sorry, you cannot tell me how you would react the next time around (anyone out there who can, hand on heart, tell me that they could is obviously a psychopath and you really don't want my name and address).


Must work on my mind ray weapon.

Sorry for any gap in postings but I've been busy, OK?

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Whoa there

Found in the archives so it should have been made available four years past (OK mid 2012)

Back on board the OC after a two year sabbatical (a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since I last sighted her prowed lines (pun intended)).

 And what changes? First to report is the successful completion of the unofficial offshore T4 course, for which the vessel was temporarily renamed (security reasons were sited), the remarkable feat of talent and perseverance was carried out under duress (but the Bridge Super went away after they gave him some marbles to play with) and the honour of tightening the last bolt was declined by non-other than Lee Van Cleef and all that without a parachute drop in sight.

On the subject of courses, the deck crew have taken it upon themselves to equip their supervisor with an arsenal of “useful” vocabulary (most of which could get him arrested), and the OC workout video is in post-production.

The LARS paint by numbers has all but been completed (with the exception of the one item painted by a colour-blind hedgehog (next month’s competition = name the part).

Welfare:

Rumours that the welfare fund is to be renamed the “Nespresso” fund are found to be untrue, even though the conversion to P.O.D. (Price Over Desirability) coffee is virtually vessel wide. And a full length posing mirror has been installed in the Gym (however, the subscription to “Bodybuilders have small Genitals “ monthly was turned down).However I have taken up the option of the weekly Gay Pride magazine and find myself strangely attracted to our own  Aerobics instructor after watching his workout video.

Morale:

Morale remains high and the occurrences of crew being made to walk the plank are being kept to an all time low (Keel hauling is down too, but that might be due to the shortage of good rope).

Comings & Goings

We have waved a tearful farewell to Tuan (then he came back) wished Damo a good camping trip, Bryce got married (congrats from all of us) and Dino has become a daddy (potential future ROV Pilot?)

Party Preparation

Well hello again, I had a wonderful new year (totally oblivious of the date other than the sporadic felicitations from my fellow rig occupiers) then the run up to dear mater's arrival and ensuing visit.

Now I am awaiting the final moments of the smoker (having enslaved my nephew on smoker watch) and we are all about to trip off down the hill to imbibe and be merry (in an official manner).

The photo? Last night's moon rise, as we were cooking the first batch of ribs (yummy). G&Ts all round and lots of burnt animal flesh. Hey ho.

Hoo hoo

OK managed to finish a year, in good spirits (no gin though).

Hope the coming year is as positive.

Still getting wound up about how the general populus is being lied to and cheated, cheated out of what is due to them. The big slap in the chops being that they are convinced that they have the "non shitty" end of the stick.

Wake up world.

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Peeled eyeballs

Well I didn't get a very good nights sleep last night, packing for my outward bound trip back to the SS Dodgey Sausage, the thunderstorm was possibly a factor (might have been as a result of my slagging off the film Thor), and I was re-awakened by the sound of my alarm(s) at a breezy 04:00.
OK, I thought I would catch some of the elusive slumber back in the taxi to the airport (not to be) the rain was (well raining I suppose) causing the driver to make erratic moves and preventing my snooze, "Never mind" was my next thought, I will take up my place in 64K (window seat near the back which I had been invited to change when I went online, only to find that the choice for change was ...... 64K, all seat icons other than mine had little "x"s on them). Adopting my usual slump and eyes half shut (ready for take off) neck canted over to use the support of the side of the aircraft and giving off a general air of "Do NOT Disturb" I fell blissfully into unconsciousness for about 3 seconds, whereupon a small creature seated behind me kicked the back of my chair, and then kept repeating the action for the duration of the flight, despite the chastisement of his guardians/parents/keepers that were sat with him.
Oh dear reader (whom I have neglected for too long) "where am I headed?" you may ask.
I am aiming toward a multi media campaign to stop those bastards in airports from feeding these spawn of Satan anything that could possibly cause behavioural problems (Sunny Delight, Coca Cola, Fanta, lime green fizzy drinks, horrible sweets made from isotopes that we haven't really thought about) I am referring to the likes of Bugger King , MacBovineSpongiformEncephalopathy and similar heartless conglomerates that are not only poisoning our youth but making wads of dosh (from their victims) at the same time.
Pull back there one moment, (I hear from the crowd of reader) is it not the fault of the guardians/parents/keepers? OK I might give you that one, the choice to let your charges indulge in fast food orgies should be deemed to be that of the warder not the warded (especially when the wee mites are indeed "wee")? Maybe, but when half the world isn't aware that certain additives can cause mood swings and attention problems (possibly that such research has been masked by large conglomerate money and spin) then how are our less literate and more gullible (and I won't be too far from the mark if I mention "inappropriate Lycra wearing") supposed to find out that their offspring could benefit from just eating natural foodstuffs (and I could possibly not feel as crabby as I do right now).
Another solution would be for airlines to fine the owners of appallingly behaved children (Or give me extra airmiles for suffering the gits).
I'll be much better in the morning.

Spreading Lies

All hail the mighty social network site, they do it again. Whatever the reason, someone has put a post up, that, as far as yours truly can ascertain, is complete "Borrocks".

Here it is:-

"I've just heard some really shocking news. The Royal British Legion are not selling poppies in certain areas on Nov 11 this year. This is because some minorities say that it will upset them. I say sod off ... The poppy is a symbol of reverence for our fallen heroes of all the wars the BRITISH military have fought in. BRITAIN STAND UP AND SAY 'WE WANT THE POPPY SOLD EVERY WERE IN THE UK'. THIS IS OUR RIGHT TO REVERE OUR FALLEN.. PLEASE RE-POST"

So this has also been followed up by the Royal British Legion saying:-

"There's a rumour going around on Facebook that poppies not being sold in certain areas this Remembrance period. It is categorically untrue. Poppies will be sold as normal. Pls share this! MaxRes."

Well we all know that the gutter press will leap on the rumour as being Gospel, but why does anyone post this tripe in the first place? (Takes a deep breath) I'll tell you why, because they are too small minded to actually find facts and publish them (or too stupid to know where to look), if you are going to scandalise and stir ire then try and be a tad more factual.
Now, for all those who re-posted the first quote, could you please be a smidgeon more selective and review what goes on your status, be aware that Mr Paul Chambers joked about blowing up Robinhood Airport on Twitter and was arrested for his joke, a touch of caution could be advisable methinks.

Meanwhile in the news Sir David Attenborough is fighting the corner of science by protesting against the teaching of creationism in schools. The following is not attributed to the great man.
"Creationism and ‘intelligent design’ are not scientific theories, but they are portrayed as scientific theories by some religious fundamentalists who attempt to have their views promoted in publicly-funded schools. There should be enforceable statutory guidance that they may not be presented as scientific theories in any publicly-funded school of whatever type.
But this is not enough. An understanding of evolution is central to understanding all aspects of biology. The teaching of evolution should be included at both primary and secondary levels in the National Curriculum and in all schools."
I have gone through my life being told many things that I have later discovered to be untrue (Father Christmas was probably the biggest disappointment) and the earth being created in 7 days I always believed to be metaphorical and not literal, reasons for my stance on this would probably stem from the fact that people quote from a 17th century translation of  a Latin text that was translated from a Greek Text that was translated from Hebrew (or Aramaic in some parts), as you see if you look at it from this point of view the "Chinese whispers" aspect falls into play (as in the message "send reinforcements we're going to advance" turning into "Send three & fourpence we're going to a dance").
Just for the record though, if you maintain that Adam was made from "the dust of the ground" and that Eve was formed from his rib. Does this not follow a very basic explanation of evolution?
And to add that slap in the face to the preposterous:-
"According to the Genealogies of Genesis, Adam died at the age of 930. With such numbers, calculations such as those of Archbishop Ussher would suggest that Adam would have died only about 127 years before the birth of Noah, nine generations after Adam. In other words, Adam's lifespan would have overlapped that of Lamech (father of Noah), at least fifty years. Ussher and a group of theologians and scholars in 1630 performed calculations and created a study that reported the creation of Adam on October 23, 4004 BC at 9:00 am and lived until 3074 BC. There was controversy over the fact that Ussher believed the whole creation process occurred on that day."
(Methinks they had attacked the communion wine with a bit of a run up)
Please inform me if you have UN-equivocal information that would set me straight on this, but I believe myself to be a logical being, and these things do not sit in the parameters that I consider "Logical".
Faith However is a completely different matter, you can believe (and people do) in omnipotent beings, and that you should live your life to moral standards (after all the whole of society is based on this), but please don't demand that I accept that, the earth is flat, the moon is made of cheese, George W. Bush is intelligent or any other fantastical spasm of a deranged mind, you are quite welcome to put these delusional thoughts up for inspection (as is your right) but please don't be offended when they are ripped apart, and don't hide behind the cloak of righteousness that shrouds so many pious theological nutbags (many of which have recently been exposed as kiddy fiddling spineless slimeballs).
 

Fair Play Award

Tony Blair, there's a name to conjure with (after all he conjured with everything from statistics to facts), I personally would love to see him arrested for crimes against, well everything really. Everything from his election promises to his dragging an unwilling nation into an illegal war (based on 'facts' that were not only questionable at the time but have been proven to be lies since), and the cherry on the cake is that he is now "Peace Emissary to the Middle East" (Dr. Shipman collecting for help the aged?).
But the real heckle raiser (after all, we all know he's a war criminal, we are just awaiting his arrest (attempts to date 3, see http://www.arrestblair.org/) is his manipulation of reports (i.e. complete contradiction, more commonly known as lies) and now the poor old tax payer has to foot the bill for his wondrous decisions (from letting the nations gold go at a third of the price (not including recent escalations in gold price), the war(s) (apparently rather high maintenance actions to continue with) and my pet hate, the Olympics!
OK now we are where I was headed. the Olympics, a noble institution I concede, so noble in fact I wish some more deserving country had won the bid (and serve them right as far as I'm concerned).
I recall when Ireland kept winning the Eurovision Song Contest, they started to complain that it was putting them further & further into debt.
That aside, the pessimists estimate that the Olympic games in London (and other associated villages) will cost the treasury (read "taxpayer") over EIGHT BILLION (sorry about that but when you write it as "8bn" it looks really insignificant). Now if Mr Blair hadn't thrown his political shoulder behind the bid (although he attributes this success to his letterbox mouthed wife Cherie) the Sceptic Isle could have been nudging the deficit bill down instead of putting the cost onto its already beleaguered citizens.
I like watching sport, yes I do, and as long as you don't take it too seriously it has its place, but, I was crap at it when I did actually participate, no matter how hard I tried (which admittedly wasn't that hard). The ones I did excel at, as my memory serves, were:
 i) Cross country smoking, where 120 of us were posted off on a pre-designated route and the "Rebels" amongst us would loiter at the back, get a couple of Regal King Size in and wait for the more athletic to complete the whole course while we took the short cut.
ii) Turning Blue, this consisted of the games master (warmly clad in overcoat and track-suit bottoms) leading us uphill to some exposed (apparently ploughed) field on a desolated moor top and insisting on us standing around in anticipation of a large soggy rugby ball's impending trajectory, meeting with our chosen loitering spot, after ninety minutes of this we were then expected to shower in water that had the ambient temperature of a polar bears scrotum, the object of this was obviously survival.
I firmly cling on to the belief that in excess of ninety percent of the world is also crap at sport, (and indeed only an nano percent of the world is good enough to compete internationally) so what is the attraction? National pride? (OK I had to put that one in, come on, how many Gold Medals are going to be won by Great Britain?).
Do we assume that by merely hosting the games, the participants will feel obliged to be polite and let us win a few?
Ah I have wandered off topic, did I mention what a creep I think Tony Blair is?
Well I do, he dragged us into hosting the Olympic Games (even though one of the reports on the subject warned that there would be no benefit and the cost would be astronomical) and promptly retired just before the true costs were becoming apparent.
Yet another of his smarmy, worm-like decisions, that make me angry when I see his picture.